Stuck onboard somewhere between rows 12 and 15, thoughts turned to 1976 and how the Ugandan government abetted a hijacked Air France flight that ended in a spectacular siege by Israeli commandos.
Eventually I got off that plane and realised I had the fortune, or misfortune, of arriving in Uganda while the nation hosted the Non-Aligned Movement and G77 +China global conferences. This was a rare spotlight for Uganda on the international stage. For a country with a complicated military history, the security presence at the airport and in the city was highly visible. It would take me days to habituate to the ubiquitous sight of young boys, seemingly teenagers, brandishing AK-47s.
The second jam occurred about an hour later, on the way into Kampala. The main expressway linking Entebbe and the capital was closed to everyone but conference delegates. All the other traffic, and by now we were in rush hour, squeezed into a local two-lane road. Five lanes – all going in the same direction – quickly formed the mother of all traffic messes. Every vehicle blocked every other vehicle. It was pure chaos, even by Ugandan standards. ‘Where are the police now?’ I wondered as my car entangled in an ever-expanding colossal mash of vehicles. And the most excruciating part of the experience: I desperately had to pee but was advised to stay inside the car for safety reasons.
Somehow the jam miraculously unravelled, vehicle by vehicle, until the traffic flowed. First by a trickle, then a surge. We were rolling again and managed to enter a quiet stretch of highway. Dusk was on the horizon as we sped toward the city, and I fantasised about getting to the hotel bathroom. The serenity didn’t last long.
“Fuel! Fuel!” my frantic driver burst out, puncturing the quiet. The car slowed and sputtered to the shoulder. We were not just out of gas; we had exhausted the fumes. I noticed the now-conspicuous yellow gas light on the dashboard. This was a Definitely-Not-Good-Situation situation. The traffic jam, apparently, had consumed more fuel than the driver precisely calculated when he gassed up for the airport run.
We were in the middle of nowhere. And I still had to pee.
“I’m thinking, I’m thinking,” was all my rattled driver could offer as we sat and stared at each other in the idle car. Fortunately, a truck driver stopped on the shoulder not far from us. The truck didn’t stop to help us, but that didn’t deter me from seizing the moment. I asked the truck driver to give a lift to the nearest gas station, and he generously agreed. My driver then hopped into the truck with two empty plastic water bottles, while I remained locked in the car, alone, at sunset, questioning how a car hire from the Hilton could go so horribly wrong. I felt like a juicy target, a sitting duck.
Meanwhile in the distance, two soldiers on foot patrol, naturally with AK-47s, were slowly coming into focus. Were the soldiers friend or foe?
I’ll never know, because my driver returned some 40 minutes later, just as the military patrol arrived.
“I hear Hawaii is nice this time of year,” a friend suggested after learning about my eventful journey from Entebbe airport. Perhaps the most striking thing about this airport transfer is that it’s not even my most extreme airport trip that has gone off the rails. There’s Hong Kong in 2019, during the protests. Mumbai in 1992, during the nationwide Ayodhya riots. And Hanoi 1989, when I arrived in the city well ahead of Lonely Planet.
Essential information: I self-organised my brief visit to Kampala. Emirates offers an efficient, one-stop connection between Phuket and Kampala, and many nationalities visiting any combination of Uganda, Rwanda and/or Kenya can enter on a single East Africa visa.
In Kampala, I stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn, which opened just before the pandemic. While the hotel is modern, I would not recommend this property, as the service is polite but indifferent, and the hotel discourages walking in the immediate environs at night.
Although Kampala does not project an image as a walkable city, I booked a Kampala Half Day Walking Tour with a Female Guide on Tripadvisor and my impression of the city shifted favourably after this tour. I’m glad I invested the time to spend a day in Kampala to get a better sense of place and the city’s “organised chaos,” in the endearing words of my guide Tajiri. After Kampala, I embarked on a 12-day private, guided overland journey to Kigali, Rwanda via six national parks orchestrated by Ovacado Adventures.
MEET TODD
I’m a hard-core traveler addicted to adventure. Perhaps I’m a magnet for mishap, but I find that even when plans go into a pickle, in retrospect the experience often creates a vivid, indelible highlight of a journey. And I’m all for the journey.
There’s a profound difference between taking a trip and embarking on a journey. A trip emphasises the endpoint, getting to a place. A journey, on the other hand, conjures ambition and immersion. A journey advances toward a goal through a process that might be uncertain, unpredictable, and unforgiving.
This article launches a new column for The Phuket News. This Globetrotter column highlights the journeys of one Phuket-area resident who passionately believes that travel is one of life’s most enriching pursuits. Globetrotter will explore some of the world’s most fascinating places, peoples, and happenings. Primate trekking in East Africa, pedalling from Siem Reap to Saigon, witnessing tribal rituals in the South Pacific, and observing a different kind of ritual at the Olympics, are all in the immediate plan.
You should expect lots of adventure, and probably a few misadventures, from this column. You shouldn’t expect vanilla travel tales like visiting Hawaii – although I hear Hawaii is rather nice this time of year. Please join me on the journey.
Adventurer and author Todd Miller has cycled across two continents and visited all seven. He authored the Amazon bestseller ‘ENRICH: Create Wealth in Time, Money, and Meaning’, lauded by Forbes, USA Today, Entrepreneur and other global media. Todd has contributed to Fast Company, Newsweek and dozens of podcasts on work-life topics, and resides at Natai Beach. Visit: www.enrich101.com